so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
