come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
