She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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