IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
