Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
