ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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