Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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