so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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