garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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