I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
