the condom got lost in my hair
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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