she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
