She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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