billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
