So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
