butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Even my vagina gasped.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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