I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think people are normalizing furries
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
