if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
