She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
