Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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