I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
