My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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