i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
