you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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