If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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