a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
