are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
