Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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