I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
