im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
