ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
