He is an equal opportunity slut.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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