Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
