if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
