i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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