school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
