At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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