I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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