You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
