i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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