You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
