Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
