dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
