Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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