So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
not ubering you a puppy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
