why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
