we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
