I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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