I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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