Porn is love you can see.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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